2004-02-08 - 6:17 p.m.

So I haven't updated this thing in about forever, so here's how I'm feeling lately.

I'm just in a mood. A mood consisting of happiness, sadness, cyncism, inebriation, frustration, anxiety, loneliness and revelation. I suppose this doesn't cover everything, but they are definitely the emotions that take up most of my brain space.

I'm doing well in school, which is a first....well...in awhile, at least. And my doing well in school is because I am smart and not a slacker....contrary to popular belief...fuckers....if you would take the time of day to talk to me about something important and not selfish, maybe you could see that. Just because I'm aware of things that you haven't even discovered yet doesn't mean that they are a waste of my time.

Why am I so angry?....lol....I don't even fucking know. Maybe it's the mass stupidity around me. Yeah...I'm angry...but don't worry, just at you.

Here are some guidelines to becoming a better person...

1) The world does not revolve around you. It revolves around the sun. A very nice place for people who think that the world revolves around them.

2) Making jokes is an art. "Your mom" is not part of this art. Only in a facetiously joking manner is "your mom" ever appropriate.

3) Listen to real music....like Neil Young...;)...not 50 cent...remember, MUSIC, not SHIT.

4) Don't be a hypocrite....and anyone who agrees with me is guilty of the same thing.

I don't get angry often, but right now most of my friends are just pissing me off either by being dumb, thick-headed, ignorant or having too much fucking self-pity. Life can suck, but you gotta suck it up and concentrate on living it. If you don't, you won't go anywhere. Yes I'm mad at a lot of people, and a lot of people in particular, but if you REALLY KNOW ME you'll know that I won't hold it against you, I'll get over it really soon, and you shouldn't take it to heart. I mean, even MIKE FUCKING CASEY is allowed to get angry....sorry to burst your fucking bubble.

And to address this:

I am NOT full of myself. It tears me up inside thinking that people think I have such a high opinion of myself. The truth is that I've worked for the past 7 years to be part of the in-crowd. I worked my ass off in sports, music, humor, being nice...and a underlying theme of all that was to be liked more by my peers. I didn't have a lot of good friends growing up. Until 7th grade I had only two. No really....just two. And I'm still friends with them. I worked my ass of to get other people to like me because I was so desperate just to have someone to hang out with. And now, when people like to hang out with me and call me to cry and ask me to jam or to buy a cd or to go play soccer or basketball I go and do it. Because of this, people think I'm all high and mighty and they fucking criticize me. Get off my fucking back. I'm a human being who worked their ass of to be good at a whole slew of things. And I succeeded. AND I'M DAMN PROUD OF IT. You know what the difference is for me? I don't flaunt it. I don't flaunt the fact that I'm good at a lot of stuff. I let other people take the spotlight and do their thing. I don't need to have the spotlight (all the time at least ;) I don't need to crush other people to feel good about myself....sadly, that seems to be the trend around here. You can grow up a lot faster if you get over yourself.

People need to start worrying about themselves. How many times have I lunged out at people and intentionally hurt them. How many times have I started rumors about someone just because I didn't like them. I will give someone 10 dollars if they can name something like that I've done and didn't feel horrible about. And didn't seek that person out and apologize incessantly to them. Anyone who really knows me knows that I'm a good person. Go criticize someone else. You're not worth my fucking time. Grow the fuck up. You're in college to set the groundwork for the rest of your life and you act like you're still in middle school. I'm ashamed to be at the same place as some of you.

Anyway....I'm just angry, but like I said, it'll pass and I'll feel bad about this whole entry. But I'm not gonna apologize..I've apologized my whole life for things that I shouldn't apologize for....so I'm not gonna do it. A big fuck you to everyone right now, because every now and then you gotta make a stand.

Peace

Mike

Alright....time for Care Bears.

Night

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